A Brief Description

Illuminating the Stories that Bind Us is a self-help book written with all of us in mind. We all have stories and limiting beliefs that appear as obstacles between us and a life of bliss, joy, and fulfillment of our dreams and desires. Our stories get in the way of having healthy and fulfilling relationships and living our purpose. These stories are often related to our worth (I’m not good enough) money (I don’t have enough money to do what I want) or guessing what other people think (I will get fired when they learn I’m an imposter). My hope and mission is that as a result of reading this book, readers will become more aware of their own limiting beliefs and stories that are keeping them from living out their fullest potential in all aspects of their lives, including relationships. I believe that the work we can invest in bringing these stories into light and transforming them can and will serve as an anti-depressant, anti-anxiety, and suicide prevention tool. Studies have shown that when we apply mindfulness skills to our lives (Illuminating the Stories)  and move toward a life of joy using creative expression (art forms) we decrease levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and anger. 

Using actual stories participants have shared on my podcast, real-life personal stories as well as anecdotes from my clients in my private practice, I illuminate common stories that we carry. The transformative knowledge of Internal Family Systems by Dr. Richard Schwartz is used to help us go even deeper into the genesis of the stories by helping us also identify possible parts that are carrying the story (e.g. Inner Critic: I am not enough).

A section on stories and relationships helps us all take a closer look at all of our relationships; from romantic partners to colleagues, and ensure that our stories aren’t holding us back from our fullest potential in relationships. Readers are invited to apply the content to their own lives through journal prompts and worksheets to not only increase their knowledge of the stories binding them but also help guide and facilitate their process of breaking through them and transforming them. Also included are tools and worksheets that you can use with a friend, partner, or colleague, and guidance on when and how they should be used is also explained.

Woven into the book are songs that have been prescribed to help participants break through the stories. The importance of using music and creative expression to transform these stories is another dimension of this book and the formula that is used in my WOW (Weekend of Wonder) Retreats. It is only part of the process to illuminate the stories. After you shed light on the stories, then it is time to take the action needed to dissolve them so that you can step into your dreams and your fullest potential. I have also outlined the Divine Dream Dance which I created to help us through various stages and keep us moving forward on the path to our dreams. 

Stories: Here is a list of common stories that hold us back. Can you relate to any of these?

Remember Awareness is 50% of the solution with gentle curiosity and compassion, take the first step of becoming unstuck by naming the story that binds you.

 (*many thanks to all of the participants and other people who have volunteered and shared their stories so that we can set free as many people as possible).

Couples/Romance/Love

You don’t appreciate all that I do. 

I’m not pretty, smart nor interesting enough to be loved.

I’m too fat to date anyone.

I am broken so nobody will ever want to be with me.

If I can’t change you, there’s something wrong with me.

Because I have been duped in a relationship before, I will be duped again.

If I commit to someone, I will hurt them so I’ll just stay single.

My divorce taught me that there is no such thing as happy endings. 

Money/Work

I have to work hard to make money. 

I have to work all of the time so that I’m never homeless.

Family/Parenting

Everything has to be perfect for my kids, otherwise, I’m a neglectful parent.

I owe my parents so much because I treated them poorly. 

I do not deserve a big home. 

Self-esteem/Body image

I’m never going to lose weight because I let myself go for too long.

Giving and Receiving 

If someone gives to me, they are expecting something in return. 

Procrastination and Perfectionism

If it’s not going to be perfect, I’m not even going to try and start nor finish something.

Career/Success

My mental health challenges around OCD, Anxiety and Depression make me feel like a failure and unable to have the career and social life I used to have.

I am aging out of my profession because of rapid technology advancements.

If I celebrate my successes, I will be punished for being self-righteous. I must stay humble. 

Mental Health/Mental Wellness

When my heart races and my chest tightens, I think it’s a heart attack when it’s actually anxiety.

Grief

I don’t have a right to grieve that person because I am not immediate family. It’s harder on them, than me.

Creative Arts

I’m not good enough to sing, paint, dance….

Arts are self-indulgent.